Category Archives: Our Wedding

Our Story : Mehendi ceremony- Part 39

Posted on November 12, 2014 | 13 comments

This is a continuation of my previous posts. Please read the previous posts here.

Finally after so many ups and down, the wedding rituals began. The first ritual was the Mehendi ceremony.

Nepali wedding, Newari wedding, Nepali bride , Nepali groom, Traditional Nepali wedding, Nepali wedding Sari

Mehendi ceremony is not a traditional part in Nepali wedding but I wanted to do something similar to hen’s night in Nepal. I did have a hen’s night in Australia but I still wanted to do something in Nepal with my cousins and friends as well to remember my wedding as a fun ceremony.

mehendi (3)

Mehendi means henna and, during this ceremony, a henna artist applies mehendi to the bride’s hands and feet, as well as to the hands of all female relatives and friends. This is purely done for decoration and to make the bride look even more beautiful on her wedding day. So I arranged a person to come to my place to put Mehendi on. I invited all my close female relatives and good friends. So it was going to be a girl’s night with Mehendi and music.

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I went for bridal Mehendi while all my friends and family had simpler ones. The bridal designs are so intricate, that they require several hours to be drawn and then to dry. My mehendi took more than 3 hours. It was hard spending 3 hours sitting on a chair, with somebody painting your hands and feet, you just cannot move even to eat, drink, go to the loo or basically do anything at all except for talking.

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I waited for another hour for the mehendi to get a little dry and then applied a mixture of lemon and sugar. It is supposed to make it darker. Whole day passed with us having fun while the mehendi guy was applying mehendi to everyone’s hand.

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The mehendi was followed, in the evening, by dancing and music. It was great to see people dancing including my aunts and cousins and having fun. My mum was also having a great time and even though she was busy at the same time as she was making lunch for the guests. It was worth all the effort and money I paid the guy at the end of the day.

mehendi (2)

When I scrubbed off the dried out Mehendi, it had left a deep red coloured design. It is a common belief that the darker the colour of the mehndi on the hands on a bride, the more will she be loved by her husband. I was thinking, of course I know that and that is the reason I am getting married to him 🙂

Wedding Ceremony

Take care,

M from nepaliaustralian

XOXO

P.S: Do not forget to vote your favorite blog . NEPALIAUSTRALIAN’s Blog Award 2014

Go to Part 40

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Our Story: The Engagement – Part 15

Posted on August 2, 2013 | 22 comments

This is a continuation of my previous post. Please read the previous posts here, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5 , Part 6 , Part 7 ,Part 8 ,Part 9 , Part 10 , Part 11 , Part 12 ,Part 13 and Part 14.

If marriages are made in heaven, it is literally so in the Hindu system because of the belief that all major events of life are influenced by heavenly bodies; that is, by the stars, planets, moons and so on. A simple task of fixing the marriage date, for example, calls for a consultation with an astrologer and he decides on an auspicious date, or Subha Sahit, after gauging the influences of the celestial bodies on the bride and groom based on the dates and times of their birth.

So, for our engagement, fixing the date became a long and tedious process because there were so many things to be considered. First of all, it was our birth chart. Astrological compatibility consideration is not only a mere ancestral practice but is a way to get the knowledge regarding the nature, features, love and the social communication features of the people. Unless and until compatibility is found between the two persons, they can’t hold a life-long relationship happily. Since it is a very difficult task to get an accurate knowledge of a person’s nature etc. before a marriage (or a long-term relationship), Astrology can definitely help the two lives a great deal.

The other main factor was I was leaving for Sydney at the end of January and the dates had to be before I left.

We somewhat already knew what the astrologer would tell our family about AS and my horoscope compatibility. AS had a flatmate who was good with astrology so before he came back to Nepal, he asked him to see how compatible we were; as we knew it would matter to our family.

Lucky for us, it came back 27.5 out of 36 points. It stated that

The score of compatibility points is much above the mean. This speaks of only good in all respects pertaining to married life. Marriage between the prospective pair is highly recommended. Only the very best in all the respects could be taken as destined. Normally a match with 18 or more points is considered good.

It was a relief for both of us and when our parents did the same thing in Nepal, they were happy with the result as well.

Finally, a date was decided, few days before I was to leave. As always, it was meant to be a small ceremony between few close family and friends but it turned out to be a function for around 150 people. Initially, we were planning to have the ceremony at my house, but with 150 people, it was not possible so a venue was arranged.

When the big day came, I was tired and excited at the same time because there was so much to be done in leading up to the day. I had to shop for the outfit I was going to wear that day. Then I also had to shop for outfit AS’s family was giving me. My MIL thought, it will be best if I buy those stuff myself so I would wear them in the future. That was really nice of her.

I was preparing for the engagement and going to Sydney at the same time. I didn’t have many days after the ceremony so I was trying to do as much as possible before hand.

The day before the engagement, I went to the party venue with some of my good friends to decorate the place. I wanted to do a feature wall and decorate it so that it would look like an engagement venue. So we printed out our names including Happy Engagement in colourful papers along with lots of hearts and stars. It took ages to cut them and then stick them on the wall but the effort was worth it as the place looked nice after the decoration. I was really grateful that I had AS and a bunch of my friends to help me.

engagement (1)

On the morning of the engagement, I work up early. I already had my aunts and cousins at my place.  After a shower, we had breakfast and it was time to get ready for the occasion.

I had bought a red sari for the day and my mum had made sure that all the jewellery was ready for the day. I put on my sari, chura, jewelleries and my cousins did my hair and makeup. I was dressed in red sari with golden work. Had my hair and make-up done like a Nepali bridal. I was feeling as if  it was my wedding, not an engagement, as there was so much fuss at my house.

engagement (2)

Finally, everyone was ready and we headed towards the party venue. Many of my relatives were already there and the party was going on full swing. People were enjoying their entrée and drinks.

 After what seemed like ages, AS and his family finally arrived at the venue. AS was dressed in a dark blue suit and I swear he looked so handsome. My dad welcomed him at the gate with tika (a mixture of rice, yogurt and vermillion) and garland and brought him to sit next to me on a sofa.

engagement (3)

When I saw him with his family that day, my heart was melting because everything around me was so real and we are making our relationship official now.

engagement (4)

The groom’s side followed the tradition and brought trays and trays of sweets, fruits and gifts for me. A few days ago, we had ordered a big cake as well so it was also ready.

First of all we waited for the auspicious time and then the priest started to say few mantras. Then the priest put tika on our forehead and told us that that we should exchange the rings.

engagement (3)

So in front of our families and friends, we exchanged rings and we were officially “ENGAGED”.

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It was followed by the elders putting tika on our forehead and blessing us for a happy life together. It started with our parents followed by his and my relatives.

engagement (4)

At the end, we had so much tika on our forehead that it kept sliding to our nose. Some of our relatives had brought us gifts and flowers too.

engagement (1)

After that we cut the engagement cake, one of the yummiest cakes I have ever eaten; with fresh cream in black forest base. Once we cut the cake, we fed it to each other. As there were too many people around, I took a small bite of the cake and his relatives were encouraging me to have a big slice. It was all so much fun. Then we gave the cake to our parents and then to the rest of the guests.

engagement (6)

After the main ceremony, everyone was buys enjoying the party with the food and dancing. We had photos taken with everyone as well.

engagement (2) engagement (5)

After a few hours, when the party started to come to an end, AS and his family left and we were left with only a few of my close friends and relatives. We didn’t want to stop the party so we continued to party until after midnight and I made sure every one of my relatives were on the dance floor including my parents. It was really fun.

Fun was over for a while after this event because after a few days of the engagement, I left for Australia. I will continue about that in the next post. Take care till then.

XOXO

M from nepaliaustralian

Go to Part 16

You may also like:

*10 Questions from Yatin on my “Our Story “post *Our Story – First date – Part 12 *Our Story – Meeting the Parents – Part 13

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Our Story : Kochi ceremony – Part 14

Posted on July 29, 2013 | 19 comments

This is a continuation of my previous post. Please read the previous posts here, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5 , Part 6 , Part 7 ,Part 8 ,Part 9 , Part 10 , Part 11 , Part 12 and Part 13

AS and I were glad once the initial meeting with our parents was over. We had lots of time in our hands as AS decided to stay in Nepal till mid Feb since one of his cousins was getting married while I extended my leave and decided to quit a semester at the university. At that time, I had been teaching at a university and every semester went for 3 months. I decided I would stay in Nepal till the end of March so I would have enough time to spend with AS and my parents. I had never had a long leave in my life and when I talked to my boss, she was alright with that.

So, our days were passed just meeting, going out to different cafes and restaurants and going to explore places like temples and gardens and other tourist sites around Kathmandu. Both families had no objection now with us spending so much time together. AS visited my home more often and vice versa.

However, as always, our fun had to come to end because I got an email for a new job. I had applied for a few jobs before I had left Sydney thinking to change jobs. One of the places emailed asking for suitable time for an interview. Initially, I wrote back that I was in Nepal and I am OK to do phone interview if they were happy with that.

I got a replied that they would like to do that so we arranged a phone interview. So the date and time was set. I was very nervous about this interview as I had never had a phone interview before. When they called, the line was so bad that I thought no matter what I said they won’t understand the answers properly. But fortunately, they liked me during the interview and I was asked for second face to face interview.

I was extremely happy about it all as I really wanted that job but I wasn’t sure if I was going to get the job for sure so before replying, I asked AS and my parents for advice. All of them told me that I should go for the interview and if things didn’t work out, I can always come back to Nepal. I replied to the job that I am available for interview in early February as I knew it would not be possible to hold the interview any later.

When this was going on at my end, both the families were a bit worried about us. Because if I get the job, I may not be back for over a year and once AS leaves, he may not be back for a while as well. So, they decided that we need to make our relationship official so the Kochi ceremony was planned.

Kochi means “to fix” in Newari. It is a ceremony where groom’s family officially asks the bride’s family for the bride’s hand for marriage to their son. So, close relatives of both the family met so his family can ask my hand in marriage from my family.

I have always said this and believe that marriage in Nepal is not only between two people but between two families. And ceremonies like this, makes it really important that both the families are happy about the reunion otherwise imagine the mood during ceremonies like this.

Our relationship went from cruse mode to race mode. Everything seemed to happen in fast forward. It seemed like we both lost control and were just going with the flow.

So the Kochi venue was fixed in one of the cafés nearby. I was super stressed as I had to meet all his relatives. Even though we said it was going to be a small gathering, it ended up with around 20 people.

As usual, I was also stressed about my dress, hair and makeup. Luckily I had bought few Kurtas already so I had a set I could wear during the ceremony. I wasn’t even sure what was expected of me as I had never gone to anyone’s Kochi ceremony. Not living in Nepal for a long time, it was hard for me to remember the traditional ceremonies in depth.

Finally the day for Kochi arrived. From the morning, I was bit tensed but AS was there telling me everything will be all right. So I went to the café with my parents and some uncles while my other uncles were going to meet us there.

When we reached the café, AS’s side of the family was already there. After the initial introduction, we all sat down and we ordered food and drinks.

As you know, Kathmandu is not a big place so it happened that some of my relatives already knew some of his relatives. It made it easier for everyone to break the ice and everyone was talking and enjoying each other’s company. There was a kind of positiveness and happiness in the room and everyone seemed to be enjoying the occasion. Looking around the room, I was satisfied that my fear was not justified and things would be fine.

I was sitting between AS’s mum and his aunt. They of course had many questions form me and I just answered in my best possible manner. I saw AS was sitting will my uncles and he and was enjoying his food and the conversations. After a while, it didn’t feel like there were two different family but they seems to be like friends who knew each other for a while.

During the conversation, from time to time, someone would share a joke or some old incident lifting everyone’s mood up. I was just happy looking around the room and thanking god that things were going better than hoped.

After both families were comfortable with each other the eldest member of AS’s family officially asked my hand in marriage for AS. It felt all so unreal to hear the formal speech and my dad accepting the proposal formally as well.

It was decided that a small engagement ceremony was to follow and was announced to everyone.

Do you have similar culture in your country?

XOXO

M from nepaliaustralian

Go to Part 15

You may also like:

*10 Questions from Yatin on my “Our Story “post *Our Story – First date – Part 12 *Our Story – Meeting the Parents – Part 13

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Our Story : First date – Part 12

Posted on July 12, 2013 | 14 comments

This is a continuation of my previous post. Please read the previous posts here, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5 , Part 6 , Part 7 ,Part 8 ,Part 9 , Part 10 and Part 11.

When we finally met, I could barely contain my happiness, as my first thought was, finally we are together. After the initial meeting at the airport, AS insisted that he would drop me home even though his home would come before mine did when coming from the airport. I felt really happy about this gesture and was happy to spend a few minutes more with him. So he dropped me home and promised to call once he got home. I couldn’t wait for him to call me and talk to me.

But I knew it would be a while. He had come home after a few years so he would need to spend some time with his family, take some rest and then may be call me. I promised myself that no matter how much I wanted to talk with him, I wouldn’t call him. I wanted him to have his time with his family. So I had lunch and was surfing the internet when he called. I was just pleased that he did. He told me that he was going to take a shower, have his lunch and spend some time with family. He would call me again whenever he could but we were meeting tomorrow for sure.

That day we had a very short talk in the evening but I was excited waiting for the next day. It was going to be our official first date.

As he had his birthday a few days ago, we had celebrated over Skype. I had a muffin with a candle and gave it to him online. Unfortunately, he didn’t get to eat his cake but he was glad that I was there to celebrate his birthday.

our story (1)I had got a gift and a card for him as well which I wanted to give it to him. I was eagerly waiting for him to open that. So the plan was to meet for lunch and after lunch, my parents were to meet him.

I had millions of thoughts in my mind when I went to bed that night; excited, scared, happy, worried and loved.

The next morning I work up early and helped my mum clean up. I think my parents were more excited to meet AS than I was. My mum was going to prepare some nice lunch and she was busy giving my dad her shopping list. I told them that he would be full as we were meeting for lunch first but as you know how it is with all mums, they love to feed.

Anyway, I had shower and was thinking hard on what to wear. Normally, I would just slip on a dress but it was winter so my choice was to wear jeans or be traditional and wear Kurta. I decided on jeans and a jacket. I wore a scarf and checked to make sure I looked all right before going out. We were to meet at a cafe midway between both our places and it was a date.

I had known him for years now but he was my boyfriend for only a few weeks so I had millions of questions on my mind I needed answers to. I really didn’t know where we were heading and what would happen when I went back to Australia and he to USA. As I was leaving the house, he called me asking me not to leave yet. He decided to pick up me so I waited until he came. He called me from outside and we went to the restaurant.

We reached the restaurant and ordered coffee and some lunch. I really wanted to hug him and hold him but in Nepal, it is a big no no to public display of affection . So the only thing I could do was hold his hand. We talked for a while when I told him I needed to use the ladies. Then I went around to the café area to check if they had any cakes as I wanted him to have his birthday cake but unfortunately, they didn’t have any big cakes except muffins. I thought they would definitely have one so hadn’t organised anything beforehand. Anyway, I told them to bring a muffin with candle lit on it after we had finished our lunch.

When I was back, lunch was already served and we had our food. I seriously didn’t care about the food at all as it was so good to have him next to me. All I wanted was to look at him and just listen to him talk. We talked about so many things including what we were gonna do and what both families were hoping for.

our story (6) our story (7)Once the lunch was over, the waiter came with his birthday cake, a muffin with candle on it. He was totally surprised and I was really pleased to see his expression. I gave his card and gift. He kept on saying thank you and I was just happy that I was able to make him happy.

First, he opened the card and it read,

our story (2)

For you Dear friend and love

Friends like flowers,

grow on the way

on the path we

travel from

day to day.

Some are fair-weather flowers

that fade before long,

but some of them

bloom even when

things go wrong.

And friend like you

are the flowers, that grow  in

beauty with the showers.

Our friendship

has bloomed through

the wind and rain,

it has blossomed

brighter through

trouble and pain,

that’s why your birthday,

I want to promise you…

I will always be there for you.

to stand by you

always and to be

your friend all life through

YOU MEAN A LOT TO ME.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

DEAR FRIEND!

I promise to be there

every birthday

for rest of our life.

He read it carefully and just hugged me and said, “I love You M.” Then he opened the gift.

our story (3) our story (4)It was a clock with a heart on it. I had been so confused as to what to buy and finally settled on the clock. I wanted to tell him that my heart ticked because of him and how much I am in love with him and every minute of my life is meant to be spent with him from now on.

I also bought him a love heart key ring, I know it is a bit cheesy but I loved it. I bought a pair, which made a whole heart, and when broken into two, each key ring would have half a heart.

our story (5)I really liked the idea so I bought them for us. (Both of us still have them in our key ring 🙂 ). When he saw that, he was touched and told me that he will never break my heart like the one he was holding.

He said it was one of the best birthday celebrations he ever had as he was spending it with me. Isn’t that just sweet? I couldn’t be happier hearing those words.

Then he said he had something for me too. I was seriously not hoping to get anything from him but was happy he thought of me while we were apart. He took out something from his bag. The first one was an Oscar statue which said “Best Sweetheart.”

our story (8)I was touched that he thought of me and bought such a significant gift. It meant a lot to me. I told him that I was ecstatic with the gift. Then he said he wasn’t done yet and took something else out of the bag. It was a red square box and had a white gift bow around it.  I really didn’t know that he made such an effort to look for something for me. I opened it and it was a pair of pearl earrings. It was just perfect and I couldn’t hold my happiness.

our story (1)AS: I hope you like them. I didn’t know what to buy but I thought this will be nice on you.

Me: It is just perfect. Thanks love. I wasn’t hoping to get anything from you at all.

AS: I am just glad you love them. I wasn’t too sure what to buy but when I was in LA, when I saw the statue. I knew that it would be a perfect gift for my sweetheart.

Me: Ohoo, thank you so much. And I love the pearl too. I promise to keep it safe and wear it all the time  🙂

AS: I am glad you did 🙂 (big grin on his face)

We spent some more time in the café and then left to go to my home. It was his turn to meet my parents that day and the next day would be mine. I warned him that my mum had cooked a big lunch for him.

This is it for now but will write soon about our experience meeting the parents next.

Please share your first date story. What were you feeling and how do you feel now after many year? Love to hear.

Take care everyone!

XOXO

M from nepaliaustralian

Go to Part 13

You may also like:

*10 Questions from Yatin on my “Our Story “post *Our Story: Back to Sydney – Part 3 *Our Story: Good friends again – Part 4

 

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Posted in Kathmandu, Marriage, Nepal, Nepali Culture, Our Story, Our Wedding, Relationship

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Makka Ku

Posted on January 17, 2013 | 14 comments

We are still celebrating our wedding after more than 1 and half years. I am still a new bride wherever I go :). While I was living at my new home a few weeks ago, my mum following tradition and sent a Makka Ku (pronounced ‘mock-ka ku’).

Makka ku is a newar tradition in which during the first winter after the wedding, the bride’s family sends some items which are necessary for winter to the groom’s home. Makka means olden style charcoal heater but these days instead of makka, electric heater is sent to keep the newlywed couple warm during the winter, along with a full set of warm clothes for the bride as well as fruits, rotis, blanket, electric heater etc.

Makka ku (1)

As we were in Sydney during our first winter, this winter was perfect time for my parents to follow the rituals for the Makka Ku.

Makka ku (5)

My aunt, my cousin along with my brother came to my new home with sweets and roti like anarsa, fini, laakhamari, ladoo, saun papdi, fruits: like oranges, mandarin, bananas, sugarcane, apples, masala: like cashew, almond and chocolates along with snow peas, yogurt, peanuts, sari, pashmina shawl, shoes, bag, electric heater and a blanket.

Makka ku (4) Makka ku (3) Makka ku (2)

It was a great day for me as I was so happy to celebrate our wedding again as this was one of the best decisions of my life and I am very happy to see both the family very happy with our union.

Makka ku (6)

It was a good time for both families to meet and chat. My family came and sat down with my MIL, AS and BIL and had a good conversation. They also checked out our wedding album which my MIL had made for the house.

Makka ku (7)

I had baked blueberry muffin that morning for tea so we started with tea and muffins and it was followed by Nepali feast for my aunt, cousin and brother. My MIL cooked the feast and I was the helper all morning in the kitchen preparing for the day.

Makka ku (8) Makka ku (9)

After lunch my family left and Makku Ku was concluded. As I told you before, in Nepalese wedding the bride is always the winner and it was true for this function as well as I got a full set of new outfit :).

For details and photos on our wedding functions please click the following links.

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Posted in Nepal, Nepal 2012 / 2013, Nepali Culture, Newari Culture, Our Wedding, Wedding

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