Tag Archives: newari wedding

Our Story : Wedding plans and hiccups – Part 36

Posted on November 9, 2014 | 2 comments

This is a continuation of my previous posts. Please read the previous posts here.

Once we got back from our New Zealand holiday, we had only a few months left before we were to fly to Kathmandu for our big day. The plan was for me to go before AS as he didn’t have many days of leaves. I needed to go ahead and help my parents plan the big day.

During the few months remaining the date of the wedding changed a few times which meant that we need to change out tickets accordingly. I was really annoyed by that but there was nothing we could do from here.

Finally the “Sait” (auspicious time for wedding ceremony) was finalised and according to that the other functions of the wedding were finalised as well. Both our families were busy booking the venues for the functions and receptions.

As most of you already know weddings in Nepal are not a small affair and ours was not going to be small either. Every time we Skyped with our family, they would update us with the progress. Sometimes I felt so helpless listening to them as they were doing so many things and there was not much we could do from here.

From my end, I was trying to organise the photographer and wedding cakes. I also wanted to find a place to buy my bridal outfits and a palour to do my hair and make-up. I think Nepal is one of the worst places to have a wedding if you are trying to find any information online. There are hardly any websites that provide the services and on top of that if you find any and email them, they don’t reply to your queries.

During this time I so wished I had a sister in Nepal who could go around and help me. I felt so lonely and desperate by the end of the process. I was tired, frustrated and annoyed that nothing could be sorted out via the internet. I had to wait until I was in Kathmandu to do everything and I would have only a few weeks before the actual wedding when I got there.

Finally, I got hold of one photographer who seemed good, nothing about the cake was done and my outfits were nowhere near selected. I had a long list of things that needed to be done and most of them were not possible from Sydney. I used to get so annoyed every day but AS was always there to calm me down.

With AS it was easy, he decided that he will wear “daura sural” one day and suits the rest. The only thing he needed to do was give an order for these few suits and everything was sorted for him.

With work keeping me sane and busy, it was finally the day of my flight to Nepal. I was excited and scared at the same time. AS dropped me to the airport and we said goodbye for 2 weeks.

I was praying on the flight that the wedding would go as planned and there would not be any unexpected problems. I really wished someone in Nepal was free so I could get some helping hand with my preparations.

With my mum busy with her job and dad on his business, I was not sure I would be able to manage the list and execute a wedding.

The flight to Kathmandu was fine though long but I was really glad to see my parents at the airport when they came to pick me. I was just glad that I was home and I promised myself that no matter how the wedding was going to go, I would have fun and it would be our special time and nothing should ruin the experience.

Be ready to read about the crazy wedding preparation and wedding in my next posts. Till then,

Take care,

M from nepaliaustralian

XOXO

P.S: Do not forget to vote your favorite blog . NEPALIAUSTRALIAN’s Blog Award 2014

Go to Part 37

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Our Story : Kochi ceremony – Part 14

Posted on July 29, 2013 | 19 comments

This is a continuation of my previous post. Please read the previous posts here, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5 , Part 6 , Part 7 ,Part 8 ,Part 9 , Part 10 , Part 11 , Part 12 and Part 13

AS and I were glad once the initial meeting with our parents was over. We had lots of time in our hands as AS decided to stay in Nepal till mid Feb since one of his cousins was getting married while I extended my leave and decided to quit a semester at the university. At that time, I had been teaching at a university and every semester went for 3 months. I decided I would stay in Nepal till the end of March so I would have enough time to spend with AS and my parents. I had never had a long leave in my life and when I talked to my boss, she was alright with that.

So, our days were passed just meeting, going out to different cafes and restaurants and going to explore places like temples and gardens and other tourist sites around Kathmandu. Both families had no objection now with us spending so much time together. AS visited my home more often and vice versa.

However, as always, our fun had to come to end because I got an email for a new job. I had applied for a few jobs before I had left Sydney thinking to change jobs. One of the places emailed asking for suitable time for an interview. Initially, I wrote back that I was in Nepal and I am OK to do phone interview if they were happy with that.

I got a replied that they would like to do that so we arranged a phone interview. So the date and time was set. I was very nervous about this interview as I had never had a phone interview before. When they called, the line was so bad that I thought no matter what I said they won’t understand the answers properly. But fortunately, they liked me during the interview and I was asked for second face to face interview.

I was extremely happy about it all as I really wanted that job but I wasn’t sure if I was going to get the job for sure so before replying, I asked AS and my parents for advice. All of them told me that I should go for the interview and if things didn’t work out, I can always come back to Nepal. I replied to the job that I am available for interview in early February as I knew it would not be possible to hold the interview any later.

When this was going on at my end, both the families were a bit worried about us. Because if I get the job, I may not be back for over a year and once AS leaves, he may not be back for a while as well. So, they decided that we need to make our relationship official so the Kochi ceremony was planned.

Kochi means “to fix” in Newari. It is a ceremony where groom’s family officially asks the bride’s family for the bride’s hand for marriage to their son. So, close relatives of both the family met so his family can ask my hand in marriage from my family.

I have always said this and believe that marriage in Nepal is not only between two people but between two families. And ceremonies like this, makes it really important that both the families are happy about the reunion otherwise imagine the mood during ceremonies like this.

Our relationship went from cruse mode to race mode. Everything seemed to happen in fast forward. It seemed like we both lost control and were just going with the flow.

So the Kochi venue was fixed in one of the cafés nearby. I was super stressed as I had to meet all his relatives. Even though we said it was going to be a small gathering, it ended up with around 20 people.

As usual, I was also stressed about my dress, hair and makeup. Luckily I had bought few Kurtas already so I had a set I could wear during the ceremony. I wasn’t even sure what was expected of me as I had never gone to anyone’s Kochi ceremony. Not living in Nepal for a long time, it was hard for me to remember the traditional ceremonies in depth.

Finally the day for Kochi arrived. From the morning, I was bit tensed but AS was there telling me everything will be all right. So I went to the café with my parents and some uncles while my other uncles were going to meet us there.

When we reached the café, AS’s side of the family was already there. After the initial introduction, we all sat down and we ordered food and drinks.

As you know, Kathmandu is not a big place so it happened that some of my relatives already knew some of his relatives. It made it easier for everyone to break the ice and everyone was talking and enjoying each other’s company. There was a kind of positiveness and happiness in the room and everyone seemed to be enjoying the occasion. Looking around the room, I was satisfied that my fear was not justified and things would be fine.

I was sitting between AS’s mum and his aunt. They of course had many questions form me and I just answered in my best possible manner. I saw AS was sitting will my uncles and he and was enjoying his food and the conversations. After a while, it didn’t feel like there were two different family but they seems to be like friends who knew each other for a while.

During the conversation, from time to time, someone would share a joke or some old incident lifting everyone’s mood up. I was just happy looking around the room and thanking god that things were going better than hoped.

After both families were comfortable with each other the eldest member of AS’s family officially asked my hand in marriage for AS. It felt all so unreal to hear the formal speech and my dad accepting the proposal formally as well.

It was decided that a small engagement ceremony was to follow and was announced to everyone.

Do you have similar culture in your country?

XOXO

M from nepaliaustralian

Go to Part 15

You may also like:

*10 Questions from Yatin on my “Our Story “post *Our Story – First date – Part 12 *Our Story – Meeting the Parents – Part 13

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Engagement ceremony

Posted on September 28, 2011 | 5 comments

After AS told me he loves me (Our unconventional love story), everything went in fast pace. We continued to Skype and phone and by the time he was going to be in Nepal, we both were sure this is what we wanted. Even it wasn’t long, it felt like we been together for life time. I think as we were friends for so long, it helps us to bridge the distance we had.

The next step for both of us was to tell our parents as we want them to stop looking for match for us. We were planning to do that around the same time so we know straight away how things are going to work out or not. Both of us are from same culture, same ethnic background and same cast so it seems done deal. But until we really make that step we were worried. We didn’t have any other plan if our parents said NO for any reason.

With the grace of God, both our family took the news very well and they wanted to meet each other officially. They were happy that we made a good couple. So the date was fixed for meeting where they were going to officially ask my hand for marriage called “Kochi” ( Newari word for fix).This is a tradition in Newari / Nepali wedding.

That was one of the scary days for us as things were happening too fast. We know it was going great but still scared if something will come into picture and ruin everything. But after our family meeting in one of the restaurant in Kathmandu, everything went well.

As both of us were leaving Nepal again, both the family though it is wise to have engagement ceremony to announce that we are engaged to be married soon. For AS and me it was great relief that things were going as we wanted.

Both families agreed that ceremony should be small and for only close family and friends. But I forgot in Nepal, small is not really small and it turned out to be ceremony for almost 150 people. Initially, we were planning to have the ceremony at my house, but with 150 people, it was not possible so a date and venue was arranged.

I was dressed in red sari with golden work. Had my hair and make up done Nepali bridal way. AS was dressed in dark blue suit and I swear he looked so handsome. My mother in law, following traditional way, has brought trays of sweets, fruits and gifts for me.

The ceremony started with welcoming everyone to this big new family. It followed by elder putting Tika (a mixture of rice, yogurt and vermillion) on our forehead. At the end , we had so much Tika on our forehead; it kept sliding to our nose.

Then in front of our families and friends, we exchanged rings and we were officially “ENGAGED”.

After that we cut cake, had photo time with everyone. It was followed by snacks and main meal. And of course there was much-loved dancing.

It was really a great days for both of us. We never expect it to be so easy and quick but we didn’t mind.

This ceremony was followed by

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Reliving our Big day

Posted on September 27, 2011 | Leave a comment

It is 95 days since our wedding. I know it is funny I am counting days and I hope to count them in years as time pass by. We had big wedding (Big, Loud, Crowded, Nepali wedding) and I enjoyed every minute of it. It involved lots of culture, tradition and people I never knew. So I decided I should write about my experience before it goes fuzzy in my head. We had Nepali Newari wedding. I am going to write about our engagement and will continue with all the steps of our wedding. The steps were as follows:

  •  Engagement ceremony –  The day we were officially engaged.
  • “Mehendi” ceremony – The day where all girls including Bride get henna tattoo on their hand.
  • “Supari” ceremony (from Groom to Bride) – The day when Groom’s family send lots of gifts like jewellery, Saris, cosmetics, shoes, bags, fruits, Nepali Roti , Masala and much more.
  • “Swayambar” ceremony -The day where all the marriage ritual happens and groom put Sindoor (Vermilion) on bride’s forehead and parting of her hair.
  • Bride side Reception – Reception from bride and her family for all their relatives and friends.
  • “Janti” -The day groom and his family come to bride’s home to take her to their home.
  • Groom side “Supari” – The day where Bride is officially introduced to Groom’s family and they give bride jeweller or money.
  • Groom side Reception – Reception form groom and her family for all their relatives and friends.
  • “Mukh herne” ceremony – The day when Bride’s family come and meet Bride with lots of gifts like jewellery, Saris, cosmetic, shoes, bags fruits, Nepali Roti , Masala and much more
  • “Wanjala” – The newly married couple visit the temple (Kul Deuta)
  • “Jwain Bhitraune” ceremony – Days when Groom is invited to close relative of Bride for Sagun.

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