Category Archives: Being Mum

I am proud to be a woman and I have written about it time and time again. But I know it is a male dominated society whether you live in the east or the west. If you are from the east or live in the east, you may experience the gender difference everyday but living in the west is not too different either.

In a developed society like Australia, we always read and discuss about gender pay gap and other issues which are basically making women’s position less valuable than men.

From the day girls are born, they are taught to play with dolls so they can be a good mum one day and I really like this photo because it is true too.

We really need boys to be a good father in the future for sure. But let’s not start a gender war in this post, instead I want to share my personal journey as a woman and how expectations build up as you acquire new roles as a girl/woman.

Like so many of our parents, education was on the top of the list for my parents so both me and my brother didn’t have to do much household work and instead were encouraged to concentrate on our studies. My parents never thought to train me to be someone’s DIL from the beginning and I am thankful to their view. When I first came to Australia and made my first ever chicken curry, it turned into a chicken soup. Let’s not even talk about the taste. Anyway, as you know I have improved a lot from then :).

But then I got married and became a wife and a DIL and I suddenly I needed to know how to be a good wife doing cleaning, cooking and looking after my husband. And why don’t men to do the same for their wife when they get married, there is definitely a double standard to that.

I thought the west would be different in this context but to my surprise it is the same story in most western households as well.

I am thankful that I have got a very understanding husband who helps me in every step of my life. But a society expecting a girl to be a perfect wife and DIL overnight because just she got married is so unfair and puts too much pressure on a girl/woman. This is the story of most of the people living in Nepalese society and many others too.

I really don’t understand that even though a woman does the same amount of work outside the home, she is still expected to come home and fix the dinner, clean the house and look after all the other chores while men can come home and rest because they are tired. I am sure it worked in the past as men were the bread winners and women stayed home but in these modern days where both partners work full time jobs, the same expectation is definitely unfair.

Instead we should be training our sons to look after themselves and do house hold chores so they can take equal in responsibilities along with their wives. Men should not be helping to do household chores but they should be doing them. This will make sure that the relation goes smooth without any hurdles.

If a woman wants to look after their partner that is her individual choice but don’t expect a girl to be a woman overnight just because she gets married.

The same goes when a woman has a baby. Yes, she with her HUSBAND decided to bring a baby into this world. But do not expect her to be a Super mum as soon as a baby arrives in this world. No one knows what to do the first time, we all learn in the process. So why is it a mum’s fault if a child does something naughty? Why can’t be it be the dad’s fault if you really want to point fingers at someone?

I love the changing roles we have as a daughter/sister/wife/DIL/mum but I hate the expectations that come with it. And I feel boys/men have to live up to less expectation than for girls/women.

Do you feel the same way? Do you think the society expects too much from girls/women compared to boys/men?

Take care everyone,

M from nepaliaustralian

XOXO