Our Story: The Engagement – Part 15

Posted on August 2, 2013 | 22 comments

This is a continuation of my previous post. Please read the previous posts here, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5 , Part 6 , Part 7 ,Part 8 ,Part 9 , Part 10 , Part 11 , Part 12 ,Part 13 and Part 14.

If marriages are made in heaven, it is literally so in the Hindu system because of the belief that all major events of life are influenced by heavenly bodies; that is, by the stars, planets, moons and so on. A simple task of fixing the marriage date, for example, calls for a consultation with an astrologer and he decides on an auspicious date, or Subha Sahit, after gauging the influences of the celestial bodies on the bride and groom based on the dates and times of their birth.

So, for our engagement, fixing the date became a long and tedious process because there were so many things to be considered. First of all, it was our birth chart. Astrological compatibility consideration is not only a mere ancestral practice but is a way to get the knowledge regarding the nature, features, love and the social communication features of the people. Unless and until compatibility is found between the two persons, they can’t hold a life-long relationship happily. Since it is a very difficult task to get an accurate knowledge of a person’s nature etc. before a marriage (or a long-term relationship), Astrology can definitely help the two lives a great deal.

The other main factor was I was leaving for Sydney at the end of January and the dates had to be before I left.

We somewhat already knew what the astrologer would tell our family about AS and my horoscope compatibility. AS had a flatmate who was good with astrology so before he came back to Nepal, he asked him to see how compatible we were; as we knew it would matter to our family.

Lucky for us, it came back 27.5 out of 36 points. It stated that

The score of compatibility points is much above the mean. This speaks of only good in all respects pertaining to married life. Marriage between the prospective pair is highly recommended. Only the very best in all the respects could be taken as destined. Normally a match with 18 or more points is considered good.

It was a relief for both of us and when our parents did the same thing in Nepal, they were happy with the result as well.

Finally, a date was decided, few days before I was to leave. As always, it was meant to be a small ceremony between few close family and friends but it turned out to be a function for around 150 people. Initially, we were planning to have the ceremony at my house, but with 150 people, it was not possible so a venue was arranged.

When the big day came, I was tired and excited at the same time because there was so much to be done in leading up to the day. I had to shop for the outfit I was going to wear that day. Then I also had to shop for outfit AS’s family was giving me. My MIL thought, it will be best if I buy those stuff myself so I would wear them in the future. That was really nice of her.

I was preparing for the engagement and going to Sydney at the same time. I didn’t have many days after the ceremony so I was trying to do as much as possible before hand.

The day before the engagement, I went to the party venue with some of my good friends to decorate the place. I wanted to do a feature wall and decorate it so that it would look like an engagement venue. So we printed out our names including Happy Engagement in colourful papers along with lots of hearts and stars. It took ages to cut them and then stick them on the wall but the effort was worth it as the place looked nice after the decoration. I was really grateful that I had AS and a bunch of my friends to help me.

engagement (1)

On the morning of the engagement, I work up early. I already had my aunts and cousins at my place.  After a shower, we had breakfast and it was time to get ready for the occasion.

I had bought a red sari for the day and my mum had made sure that all the jewellery was ready for the day. I put on my sari, chura, jewelleries and my cousins did my hair and makeup. I was dressed in red sari with golden work. Had my hair and make-up done like a Nepali bridal. I was feeling as if  it was my wedding, not an engagement, as there was so much fuss at my house.

engagement (2)

Finally, everyone was ready and we headed towards the party venue. Many of my relatives were already there and the party was going on full swing. People were enjoying their entrée and drinks.

 After what seemed like ages, AS and his family finally arrived at the venue. AS was dressed in a dark blue suit and I swear he looked so handsome. My dad welcomed him at the gate with tika (a mixture of rice, yogurt and vermillion) and garland and brought him to sit next to me on a sofa.

engagement (3)

When I saw him with his family that day, my heart was melting because everything around me was so real and we are making our relationship official now.

engagement (4)

The groom’s side followed the tradition and brought trays and trays of sweets, fruits and gifts for me. A few days ago, we had ordered a big cake as well so it was also ready.

First of all we waited for the auspicious time and then the priest started to say few mantras. Then the priest put tika on our forehead and told us that that we should exchange the rings.

engagement (3)

So in front of our families and friends, we exchanged rings and we were officially “ENGAGED”.

engagement (6) engagement (5)

It was followed by the elders putting tika on our forehead and blessing us for a happy life together. It started with our parents followed by his and my relatives.

engagement (4)

At the end, we had so much tika on our forehead that it kept sliding to our nose. Some of our relatives had brought us gifts and flowers too.

engagement (1)

After that we cut the engagement cake, one of the yummiest cakes I have ever eaten; with fresh cream in black forest base. Once we cut the cake, we fed it to each other. As there were too many people around, I took a small bite of the cake and his relatives were encouraging me to have a big slice. It was all so much fun. Then we gave the cake to our parents and then to the rest of the guests.

engagement (6)

After the main ceremony, everyone was buys enjoying the party with the food and dancing. We had photos taken with everyone as well.

engagement (2) engagement (5)

After a few hours, when the party started to come to an end, AS and his family left and we were left with only a few of my close friends and relatives. We didn’t want to stop the party so we continued to party until after midnight and I made sure every one of my relatives were on the dance floor including my parents. It was really fun.

Fun was over for a while after this event because after a few days of the engagement, I left for Australia. I will continue about that in the next post. Take care till then.

XOXO

M from nepaliaustralian

Go to Part 16

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*10 Questions from Yatin on my “Our Story “post *Our Story – First date – Part 12 *Our Story – Meeting the Parents – Part 13

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Posted in Celebrations, Marriage, Our Story, Our Wedding, Relationship, Wedding

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Pillow talk

Posted on August 1, 2013 | 22 comments

Before I begin, I need to make one thing clear that I am not a fussy traveler. I like to think myself as an adventurous traveler but one thing that always bothers me when I travel and that is the pillow.

I have stayed in many hotels in my travels around the globe and there were only a few occasion when I found a pillow that suits my need.

I think I am different from many people in that I need a very low soft pillow. Most of the people who have seen my pillow are amazed by its thinness. But that is what suits my neck and head. If I go for a high pillow, I get a sore neck and back the next morning so most of the places where they don’t have a low pillow, I will not use a pillow at all. That is not an ideal situation but I tend to sleep better without a pillow than on a high pillow.

There have been a few hotels that I have stayed in like the Holiday Inn in Belgium where they had a variety of pillows and you can order one according to your need. However, most of the places don’t have that luxury. Lately I have started to take my own pillow when I on a driving holiday around Australia but it will be impossible to pack a pillow on overseas holiday. I guess probably I could but that means I can buy less stuff because the pillow is taking up valuable suitcase space :).

In Nepal, in both our houses, they have a very low pillow just for me. In my parents place, they have a few that I use every time I am there while in AS’s parents place, I was surprise to find a low pillow that suited me well.

Recently, looking at some ads, AS ordered us a memory foam pillow. Memory foam is polyurethane with additional chemicals increasing its viscosity and density. It is often referred to as “viscoelastic” polyurethane foam, or low-resilience polyurethane foam. Higher-density memory foam softens in reaction to body heat, allowing it to mold to a warm body in a few minutes. A lower-density memory foam is pressure-sensitive and molds quickly to the shape of a body pressing against it, returning to its original shape once the pressure is removed.

They claim that memory foam pillow are huge relief of neck and back problems. Memory foam is heat-sensitive and its ability to cradle the head and neck is phenomenal. Memory foam works hard to relax muscles. The result is a more restful and peaceful night of sleep.

But for me it didn’t work at all. I tried it a few days but the pillow didn’t go low enough for my comfort that I swap it for my original pillow during the night when I couldn’t sleep.

So this is my pillow talk for today.

I am sure I am not the only one who needs a special pillow to sleep otherwise all these manchester industry selling special pillows couldn’t have survived.

So what is your type of pillow? Do you sleep comfortable when you travel?

Till next post, take care.

M from nepaliaustralia

XOXO

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My latest addiction

Posted on July 30, 2013 | 22 comments

I have to admit that from time to time I get addicted to certain types of food and I over eat them. I had a phase where I used to eat milk chocolates, green tea, hazelnut chocolate, sour candy, hajmola, cheesballs and so on daily.

Currently I am addicted to two things. Wasabi peas and lemon grass tea.

Wasabi peas

I am sure everyone knows what wasabi is. Wasabi, also known as Japanese horseradish, is a plant whose root is used as a condiment and has an extremely strong flavour. Its hotness is more akin to that of hot mustard than that of the capsaicin in a chili pepper, producing vapours that stimulate the nasal passages more than the tongue.

I had wasabi peas before occasionally but lately I have been snacking on them both at work and at home. I have even made AS addicted to these peas but he hates it when it goes to his noses :).

Wasabi peas are green peas that have been roasted and coated in a mixture of starch, sugar, salt, oil and wasabi. They may also contain artificial colouring, depending on the brand. The peas coated in wasabi are very crunchy little snacks with a distinctly sharp, fiery flavour.

Today I ate way too many wasabi peas but they were so good.   I know most people think that they are awful, but for those of us who love wasabi, it’s a real treat.  The only problem for me is that they are impossible to stop eating. As I am typing this post, I am munching on them.

When I Googled for its benefits I found out that they are not a healthy option. But I hope it is not too bad. I am really trying hard to stop eating them. If you like heat but have never tried wasabi peas, give it a go. You can either find them in the Asian section of your grocery store or any traditional Asian markets.  Let me know if you get addicted or just hated it.

Lemongrass tea

While talking to my parents the other day, they told me that they are growing lemongrass and eating them which compelled me to Google its benefits. I was amazed by the results. As I can’t grow them I decided to go for lemongrass tea instead and I am so happy to have discovered it. I had always loved lemongrass in Thai food and was happy to adopt another healthy food in my diet.

First of all, it smells amazing and it looks like green tea. But the best thing is the benefits. Here are some of the benefits for those who want to try it:

  • If suffering from insomnia, a cup before bedtime causes relaxation and promotes a restful night of sleep.
  • It is also known to relieve nausea and is an aid in digestion.
  • Drinking a cup after a large meal will take away that full feeling and will aid in digesting the food just consumed along with helping to remove unhealthy food additives, chemicals and excess fats.
  • It also aids in the relief of constipation, keeping the bowels working properly and removing toxins to keep the body healthy and energetic.
  • Acting as a natural diuretic it is known to keep the kidneys and bladder working properly.
  • Its powerful antioxidant benefits help to keep the liver and pancreas healthy and it is also known to help keep cholesterol levels normal.
  • People of ancient times knew the benefits of Lemongrass when suffering with coughs and colds. Drinking this tea helps relieve those symptoms as well without having to use store bought products that can sometimes have side-effects.
  • This tea is also a natural anti-bacterial and anti-fungal. If drank regularly, studies have shown that it helps prevent the outbreak of acne and keeps the skin healthy due to its anti-bacterial effects. It can also relieve aches and pains and helps to reduce fever.

As it is winter here, lemongrass tea is definitely helping to keep me warm.

Do you have food addiction? Do you like Wasabi peas? Do you like lemongrass?

XOXO

M from nepaliaustralian

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Our Story : Kochi ceremony – Part 14

Posted on July 29, 2013 | 19 comments

This is a continuation of my previous post. Please read the previous posts here, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5 , Part 6 , Part 7 ,Part 8 ,Part 9 , Part 10 , Part 11 , Part 12 and Part 13

AS and I were glad once the initial meeting with our parents was over. We had lots of time in our hands as AS decided to stay in Nepal till mid Feb since one of his cousins was getting married while I extended my leave and decided to quit a semester at the university. At that time, I had been teaching at a university and every semester went for 3 months. I decided I would stay in Nepal till the end of March so I would have enough time to spend with AS and my parents. I had never had a long leave in my life and when I talked to my boss, she was alright with that.

So, our days were passed just meeting, going out to different cafes and restaurants and going to explore places like temples and gardens and other tourist sites around Kathmandu. Both families had no objection now with us spending so much time together. AS visited my home more often and vice versa.

However, as always, our fun had to come to end because I got an email for a new job. I had applied for a few jobs before I had left Sydney thinking to change jobs. One of the places emailed asking for suitable time for an interview. Initially, I wrote back that I was in Nepal and I am OK to do phone interview if they were happy with that.

I got a replied that they would like to do that so we arranged a phone interview. So the date and time was set. I was very nervous about this interview as I had never had a phone interview before. When they called, the line was so bad that I thought no matter what I said they won’t understand the answers properly. But fortunately, they liked me during the interview and I was asked for second face to face interview.

I was extremely happy about it all as I really wanted that job but I wasn’t sure if I was going to get the job for sure so before replying, I asked AS and my parents for advice. All of them told me that I should go for the interview and if things didn’t work out, I can always come back to Nepal. I replied to the job that I am available for interview in early February as I knew it would not be possible to hold the interview any later.

When this was going on at my end, both the families were a bit worried about us. Because if I get the job, I may not be back for over a year and once AS leaves, he may not be back for a while as well. So, they decided that we need to make our relationship official so the Kochi ceremony was planned.

Kochi means “to fix” in Newari. It is a ceremony where groom’s family officially asks the bride’s family for the bride’s hand for marriage to their son. So, close relatives of both the family met so his family can ask my hand in marriage from my family.

I have always said this and believe that marriage in Nepal is not only between two people but between two families. And ceremonies like this, makes it really important that both the families are happy about the reunion otherwise imagine the mood during ceremonies like this.

Our relationship went from cruse mode to race mode. Everything seemed to happen in fast forward. It seemed like we both lost control and were just going with the flow.

So the Kochi venue was fixed in one of the cafés nearby. I was super stressed as I had to meet all his relatives. Even though we said it was going to be a small gathering, it ended up with around 20 people.

As usual, I was also stressed about my dress, hair and makeup. Luckily I had bought few Kurtas already so I had a set I could wear during the ceremony. I wasn’t even sure what was expected of me as I had never gone to anyone’s Kochi ceremony. Not living in Nepal for a long time, it was hard for me to remember the traditional ceremonies in depth.

Finally the day for Kochi arrived. From the morning, I was bit tensed but AS was there telling me everything will be all right. So I went to the café with my parents and some uncles while my other uncles were going to meet us there.

When we reached the café, AS’s side of the family was already there. After the initial introduction, we all sat down and we ordered food and drinks.

As you know, Kathmandu is not a big place so it happened that some of my relatives already knew some of his relatives. It made it easier for everyone to break the ice and everyone was talking and enjoying each other’s company. There was a kind of positiveness and happiness in the room and everyone seemed to be enjoying the occasion. Looking around the room, I was satisfied that my fear was not justified and things would be fine.

I was sitting between AS’s mum and his aunt. They of course had many questions form me and I just answered in my best possible manner. I saw AS was sitting will my uncles and he and was enjoying his food and the conversations. After a while, it didn’t feel like there were two different family but they seems to be like friends who knew each other for a while.

During the conversation, from time to time, someone would share a joke or some old incident lifting everyone’s mood up. I was just happy looking around the room and thanking god that things were going better than hoped.

After both families were comfortable with each other the eldest member of AS’s family officially asked my hand in marriage for AS. It felt all so unreal to hear the formal speech and my dad accepting the proposal formally as well.

It was decided that a small engagement ceremony was to follow and was announced to everyone.

Do you have similar culture in your country?

XOXO

M from nepaliaustralian

Go to Part 15

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Posted in Marriage, Nepal, Newari Culture, Our Story, Our Wedding, Relationship

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Different looks of Prabal Gurung for Target collection

Posted on July 26, 2013 | 8 comments

This article was published in +977 (a Nepalese Lifestyle Magazine in Australia) in June-July 2013 issue.

blog

If you are following the fashion world, I am sure you are familiar with Prabal Gurung,  the Nepalese born American designer who has dressed famous ladies like Oprah Winfrey, Michelle Obama, Catherine, The Duchess of Cambridge, Zoe Saldana, Lady Gaga, Jennifer Lawrence, Demi Moore, Emma Watson, Anne Hathaway, Amanda Seyfried,  and Sarah Jessica Parker to name just  a few.

On February 2013, Prabal Gurung collaborated with Target and launched a collection based  on the theme “LOVE”. The collection was a big hit with some of the favourite pieces running out on  the first day. Unfortunately, Target Australia did not carry the collection, which means we were left out.

Luckily, we managed to purchase a few items from his collection from the USA and have styled our pieces in different looks.

Prabal Gurung For Target Cardigan in Meet the Parents Print

Boho chic: For this look, we paired the cardigan with a black maxi dress and belted it to cinch the waistline. For accessories, we just went with a pair of black sandals, silver necklace and a mini shoulder bag to keep things simple and casual. This look is very bohemian and adding the printed cardigan elevated a simple black maxi dress making it boho chic.

Casual edge: For this particular look, we tried to put together a causal and laid-back style with a bit of an edge.  We simply paired the cardigan with a very basic yellow tank top and black skinny jeans. To add some edge, we accessorised with a pair of studded ankle boots, cross earrings and a big crescent pendant. Again, adding this printed cardigan injects life to this otherwise very plain style.

Girlie girl: For the third look, we tried playing the colour pink and girlie silhouette. We basically put the cardigan buttoned up and tucked inside a flared black skirt. To emphasize the waistline, we used a skinny belt in neon pink which also adds a girlie touch. To make this look even more feminine, we went with a pair of pumps in bubble gum pink and a statement necklace with pink accents. It’s a very fun and girlie look.

Prabal Gurung For Target Dress in Meet the Parents Print

Colour Burst: For the first look, we used some key pieces from Prabal Gurung(PG) collection. We styled this PG black & white floral printed skater dress with PG heels in similar print and PG clutch in lolita print. This cute clutch injects some colour to this otherwise monochromatic outfit; we also added some fun statement necklaces in yellow and pink for that extra punch of colour.

Frosty: We tried adding some glamour to this dress with frosty silver pumps and clutch. For some drama, we added a chunky pearl necklace. This look is perfect for girl’s night out or that romantic dinner date with your partner.

Lady in Red: Adding some structured pieces like this red blazer and wedges gives this dress a very formal and sharp appeal. This outfit can be worn to work or anywhere where you want to polished and formally dressed.

Casual Chic: We did a fun experiment by turning this dress into a flared skirt. For this look, knitwear is worn over the dress making it appear as a skirt. We finished off the look by adding pair of black tights, ankles boots and a scarf in bright yellow colour. This look is very casual, comfortable and chic; great for walking around or running errands.

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Posted in Fashion, Published

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